Reading, the lack thereof

One thing I want to do when I’m older is to try bringing about a new of breed of people. People who ask questions and don’t just do for the sake of doing. In my various encounters with some peers, a lot of them say they don’t just do things because it’s cool or it’s the latest thing but only to find that they actually are. I find it’s sad that in many cases believe that ignorance is bliss, sometimes it is but for the most it isn’t. The best/worst most annoying quote which really gets under my skin is the one which states; the best way to hide something from a black person is to put it in a book.

Sadly there’s an element of truth to this statement, black people really don’t like reading. I’ve tried to get people I hang out with to start picking up a book or newspaper so that they can learn a little more but it seems like I talk to stone walls. It’s not easy breaking habits and, talking from experience, reading wasn’t something that was instilled in me growing up. There’s a host of knowledge at our disposal and society has made it alright to not want to know or not to ask questions. A change is needed. ASAP

There but never really there

Funny how I grew up, from the outside things seem like a happy household. The quintessential family made up of the husband and wife with two obedient and loving sons. The early stages were great, dad was present during those stages doing most of the things a dad should. Fast forward a few years and the story makes a complete 180^o turn. A person believes that as long as he’s paying the bills and your school fees that he’s being a dad and a father.

I was pretty young when he told me that he’s doing those therefore he’s being a father and I remember I was so furious because at my tender age I could tell the difference between a father and a dad. How could he not be able to distinguish between the two? It was uncanny. Anyway, I’m grown up now I can attest to the stereotype of a black man wanting recognition for things he’s supposed to do. Sad actually, no person in the world or asks to be brought into this world…we just find ourselves here at the discretion of our parents.

He thinks he’s been taken advantage of

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He really bugs me. Sometimes I ask myself why I stay in this house, expose myself to his over controlling nature. Then it hits me, lack of an income is crippling my movements and some of my progression. Granted, I absolutely hate seeing a man who was 100% able bodied being reduced to being 50% able bodied. It’s almost reduced me to tears in some instances simply because I hate seeing a person in distress or not being to fully function as a “normal” person would.

On the flip side of that… how does a person in need bite the hand that feeds him, repeatedly. It makes no sense to me, probably because I’m not in his situation but we can’t say that indefinitely now can we. You try to help a person and next you’re being told you taking advantage of the situation? I’m baffled to say the least. Maybe someday, when things are on the right track again I’ll get more insight from his perspective because right now it’s one sided. Highly subjective as much as I try to convince myself I’m being objective…only time will tell.

Another day, another opportunity

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Trying to make it in this world is proving very difficult. I don’t think anyone can actually quite prepare for the daily battles that we go through in order to be successful. In this short time that I have been trying to do me, I find myself learning more lessons than those I learnt in school or varsity. To be 100% honest, I can see why a person would chose to throw in the towel rather than to fight. Having to constantly prove yourself and sell your talents and achievements and skills every day is very off-putting. But then again this depends on who you… are your character.

That being said, every day brings about new challenges; new fights/battles to be won and lost because let’s face it, we don’t win every battle we fight as much as we might want to. Waking up in the morning gives you an opportunity to fight again, to re-strategize a game plan to help you conquer your enemies in this cruel world. There’s little point in dwelling on the previous day’s events besides taking only the valuable life lessons which you can never ever forget.

Every morning you wake up, it’s your opportunity to shine and showcase the beautiful, intelligent being that is you.

Loving the allure

Last night a friend of mine came to town, hadn’t seen him in ages so this was a wonderful surprise. In our random conversations about the city I told him vividly that the city can get addictive, once you experience the sweet life you going to want to keep coming back.

So last night I take him out, telling myself I want to give him an experience worth coming back for. A few drinks later he concedes saying that he’s moving here permanently, he has too keep getting his fix of this ‘sweet life’ he constantly hears about. All I told him, before we entered the party was to keep his mouth from dropping. Such behaviours immediately scream out “tourist” which, most times, isn’t that great of a thing.

On the drive home, he couldn’t stop talking about how he needs to move here. The aura and the allure have fully captured him. This obviously made me smile he’s only seen one nights pleasure so imagine the possibilities. A job well done.

Breathing but no living

 

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Some people seem to be under the impression that a person is alive when they’re breathing. There’s part truth top this fact but I believe otherwise. For some time now I’ve been breathing but not living, I’ve been there physically but that’s about where it starts and ends.

 
Living with my parents, I find myself seeking refuge in the corners of my bedroom or in front of my computer keeping myself busy with stupid things. I guess all of this is in an effort to avoid the elephant in the room but it’s one of those elephants that, no matter how much you try to deal with it, it just keeps growing. Maybe it’s me? Maybe it’s the “elephant”?  Who knows really, I most certainly don’t but I do know that someday it’ll be too little too late. For now, I’ll continue to seek refuge in front of my computer trying to figure out a way of not only breathing, but living too.

Every day is a good day

Andiswa Dlokolo

Every day is different

Every day is yesterday’s future

Every day I live

Every day I’m grateful

Every day reflect on yesterday

Every day I look forward to something new

Every day I have different expectations of what it could be

Every day I learn something new

Every day I look forward to tomorrow

Every day has its own challenges

Every day I love

Every day I remember

Every day I look for new ways to improve

Every day I believe

…… and all these make my everyday a GOOD DAYJ