It has been a long journey. It started back in my matric year. How I wish I knew then what I know now and that it would end up like this. But then again, I wouldn’t have had the great and unforgettable experiences I shared with him. It was perfect, the chemistry was so beautiful, we were very happy, I felt his love and I was in love with him. Then life happened and things changed. When that happens, it is very difficult to let go of the past because it was so amazing.
When bad things happen in life, we learn fro them and try not to repeat the same mistakes. If a person does the same thing over and over and over again, its no longer a mistake but a choice. The love and respect is no longer there. The sad thing then becomes me, holding on and hoping things will get better and he will love and respect me again. It is sad that I hope that we will grow, that we will learn, make it work and make “it” much bigger than it was. But that is my mistake.
If I still hold on and refuse to see what is blatantly shown to me, when am I going to? If I carry on being in denial and dream of us working out, when will I stop hurting? When will I fall in love again? When will I be in a happy? When will I see that he doesn’t want me, he doesn’t love me and doesn’t respect me? When will I see it and move on?
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