Dear Diary – 8 October 2012

Sitting here doing my work and thinking of how much I don’t like what I’m doing. It doesn’t give me the drive to want to wake up in the morning. I don’t regret doing my under grad and b-tech in Public Relations. It gives me many options in terms of the different fields I can tap into. I thought marketing would be fun, but that is not the case for me. I guess it’s meant for certain people who have the passion for it, because I sure don’t. The experience I am gaining is worth it though. It’s never a bad thing to know more.

In all my working experience the one thing I can say I have enjoyed doing is events. I’m quite good at even though it even though it was never my major. There is something about it that fulfils me more than pour PR, marketing and other things that I’ve done. I’m glad that I have been given the opportunities to branch out and look for what it is that I’m passionate about. I have learnt that what you like doing, might not be what you are good at and that you might just be good at something you have never thought of trying.

 

Lets see how things go....

Dear Diary - 2 October 2012

I must say I’ve come a long way. I am not the type of person who keeps quiet when something I don’t agree with is being done. But I was told by people who have been in the working environment for many years that, I will learn to keep quiet at times and just let things slide because of what I stand to lose if I am very vocal. It’s not an easy thing to do, but knowing what I want and what is at stake makes evaluate things and pick my fights accordingly. As long as I don’t do anything that is unethical or against my core values.

As much as I am not a fan of being told what to do, listening to this has helped me in achieving what I want. It’s amazing how some people under estimate the intelligence of others, by acting like they know everything and yet it’s quite the contrary. It’s funny actually. These people build me.

Dear Diary - 25 September 2012

It’s funny how a woman stays and fights for a relationship to work, because she loves her man and sees something good in the relationship. Yet the only thing the man really sees in stupidity and lack of standards.  A man can, will and does anything to keep a woman around, even though he knows deep down that he doesn’t love or respect her. For what? But then again.....do I really want to know?

No woman should take blame for following their heart, staying and fighting for a relationship they believe in. A man makes you believe what he wants you to, in order to keep you around for what ever reason. But what we need to understand and realise is that, we are the ones who eventually make the decision to stay. We are the ones who allow the cycle of cheating, disrespect, lies and all that BS to carry on. Why???? Because of the stupid four letter word. Nope, not the L word but the F.E.A.R of losing your man.

I say it’s better to stay single with your standards than to stay in an abusive and toxic relationship. In some relationships it’s even just not worth it. If he really loves, respects and wants you, he will do anything to show you.

Dear Diary – 25 September 2012

It’s important to take action after apologising. Especially if the person you hurt meant or means anything to you. Set out the course of action you intend to take to either solve the problem or at least prevent it happening again in the future. In a relationship, if you don’t want to get back together with the person, then don’t and it’s ok. Don’t make promises you are not willing to keep. Don’t apologise if you are not going to mean it. Rather stay away from the person and let them deal and accept the past and move on.

We all make do make mistakes and none of us is perfect. I respect a person who says sorry no matter how hard or tough the situation is. It deepens the relationships, it sure demonstrates integrity, shows that you are person of character and most of all...... IT FREES YOU!

Dear Diary – 25 September 2012

Once someone does something hurtful towards you or something bad happens to me, my life changes in some way or another. Thinking about what if or what could have been doesn’t change anything. I am not strong enough to forgive as quickly as some people, especially if the person who has hurt me doesn’t apologize and mean it. It makes me think they don’t regret the pain they have put you through if they don’t acknowledge it and apologise.  I’m still learning.

"I AM SORRY" has become an easy way out to run away from troubles caused by our mistakes. It’s not as hard to say sorry as we make it out to b. That I understand. But a person should realize the true meaning of the word “sorry”.  A person should not apologise unless they mean it.  When a person apologizes, they need to be sincere, come right from my heart, realise the mistake, truly apologising and promise to try not to commit that mistake again. Accept having issued the magic words ‘I’m sorry’, accept responsibility.

Dear Diary – 25 September 2012

We always complain about how there are no good men out there. That is a lie. They are everywhere. Some of us are maybe just too young and don’t want to see it. We meet good guys who are willing to be real men and do things for us without them even taking a second to thing about it and with good intention. But what do we do with those men? Yes/.......we put them in the friend zone. Then what do we say when we get hurt? Yes.......there are no good guys out there. Such is life. Some things never change.

I am truly lucky to have this guy friend who has a good hearts, and treat women with care and respect. Hopefully with good intentions and without expecting sex in return. Good men are around and should be acknowledged, by us woman being good friends in return and not use their kindness against them. Not to say they don’t make mistakes, they do but are still good men at heart. I don’t know what I would have done had he not been with me on FridayJ

Dear Diary – 25 September 2012

I have yet to meet a 23 year old woman with as many problems as I do. So many that causes me not to sleep for months and months on end. Since these problems are not killing me and if they know what’s good for them, they will sure make me MUCH stronger. They are NOT needed. Why is it that when bad things happen, they have to come from all directions? Like really, you would swear I don’t have anything better to do with my life than solve them. I have a life to live you know.

The fact that my phone got jacked on Friday doesn’t help either. God please help the person who stole it. Please forgive him/her for I hope s/he didn’t know what they were doing. I’m trying so hard not to wish them any harm, but it’s hard. Please help me forgive him/her, accept that my phone is gone and move on. Please help me get through each day without failing. Thank you for all that I have. Amen.