Dear Diary – 8 October 2012

Sitting here doing my work and thinking of how much I don’t like what I’m doing. It doesn’t give me the drive to want to wake up in the morning. I don’t regret doing my under grad and b-tech in Public Relations. It gives me many options in terms of the different fields I can tap into. I thought marketing would be fun, but that is not the case for me. I guess it’s meant for certain people who have the passion for it, because I sure don’t. The experience I am gaining is worth it though. It’s never a bad thing to know more.

In all my working experience the one thing I can say I have enjoyed doing is events. I’m quite good at even though it even though it was never my major. There is something about it that fulfils me more than pour PR, marketing and other things that I’ve done. I’m glad that I have been given the opportunities to branch out and look for what it is that I’m passionate about. I have learnt that what you like doing, might not be what you are good at and that you might just be good at something you have never thought of trying.

 

Lets see how things go....

Dear Diary - 2 October 2012

I must say I’ve come a long way. I am not the type of person who keeps quiet when something I don’t agree with is being done. But I was told by people who have been in the working environment for many years that, I will learn to keep quiet at times and just let things slide because of what I stand to lose if I am very vocal. It’s not an easy thing to do, but knowing what I want and what is at stake makes evaluate things and pick my fights accordingly. As long as I don’t do anything that is unethical or against my core values.

As much as I am not a fan of being told what to do, listening to this has helped me in achieving what I want. It’s amazing how some people under estimate the intelligence of others, by acting like they know everything and yet it’s quite the contrary. It’s funny actually. These people build me.

Dear Diary - 25 September 2012

It’s funny how a woman stays and fights for a relationship to work, because she loves her man and sees something good in the relationship. Yet the only thing the man really sees in stupidity and lack of standards.  A man can, will and does anything to keep a woman around, even though he knows deep down that he doesn’t love or respect her. For what? But then again.....do I really want to know?

No woman should take blame for following their heart, staying and fighting for a relationship they believe in. A man makes you believe what he wants you to, in order to keep you around for what ever reason. But what we need to understand and realise is that, we are the ones who eventually make the decision to stay. We are the ones who allow the cycle of cheating, disrespect, lies and all that BS to carry on. Why???? Because of the stupid four letter word. Nope, not the L word but the F.E.A.R of losing your man.

I say it’s better to stay single with your standards than to stay in an abusive and toxic relationship. In some relationships it’s even just not worth it. If he really loves, respects and wants you, he will do anything to show you.

Dear Diary – 25 September 2012

It’s important to take action after apologising. Especially if the person you hurt meant or means anything to you. Set out the course of action you intend to take to either solve the problem or at least prevent it happening again in the future. In a relationship, if you don’t want to get back together with the person, then don’t and it’s ok. Don’t make promises you are not willing to keep. Don’t apologise if you are not going to mean it. Rather stay away from the person and let them deal and accept the past and move on.

We all make do make mistakes and none of us is perfect. I respect a person who says sorry no matter how hard or tough the situation is. It deepens the relationships, it sure demonstrates integrity, shows that you are person of character and most of all...... IT FREES YOU!

Dear Diary – 25 September 2012

Once someone does something hurtful towards you or something bad happens to me, my life changes in some way or another. Thinking about what if or what could have been doesn’t change anything. I am not strong enough to forgive as quickly as some people, especially if the person who has hurt me doesn’t apologize and mean it. It makes me think they don’t regret the pain they have put you through if they don’t acknowledge it and apologise.  I’m still learning.

"I AM SORRY" has become an easy way out to run away from troubles caused by our mistakes. It’s not as hard to say sorry as we make it out to b. That I understand. But a person should realize the true meaning of the word “sorry”.  A person should not apologise unless they mean it.  When a person apologizes, they need to be sincere, come right from my heart, realise the mistake, truly apologising and promise to try not to commit that mistake again. Accept having issued the magic words ‘I’m sorry’, accept responsibility.

Dear Diary – 25 September 2012

We always complain about how there are no good men out there. That is a lie. They are everywhere. Some of us are maybe just too young and don’t want to see it. We meet good guys who are willing to be real men and do things for us without them even taking a second to thing about it and with good intention. But what do we do with those men? Yes/.......we put them in the friend zone. Then what do we say when we get hurt? Yes.......there are no good guys out there. Such is life. Some things never change.

I am truly lucky to have this guy friend who has a good hearts, and treat women with care and respect. Hopefully with good intentions and without expecting sex in return. Good men are around and should be acknowledged, by us woman being good friends in return and not use their kindness against them. Not to say they don’t make mistakes, they do but are still good men at heart. I don’t know what I would have done had he not been with me on FridayJ

Dear Diary – 25 September 2012

I have yet to meet a 23 year old woman with as many problems as I do. So many that causes me not to sleep for months and months on end. Since these problems are not killing me and if they know what’s good for them, they will sure make me MUCH stronger. They are NOT needed. Why is it that when bad things happen, they have to come from all directions? Like really, you would swear I don’t have anything better to do with my life than solve them. I have a life to live you know.

The fact that my phone got jacked on Friday doesn’t help either. God please help the person who stole it. Please forgive him/her for I hope s/he didn’t know what they were doing. I’m trying so hard not to wish them any harm, but it’s hard. Please help me forgive him/her, accept that my phone is gone and move on. Please help me get through each day without failing. Thank you for all that I have. Amen.

If not now, then when?

It has been a long journey. It started back in my matric year. How I wish I knew then what I know now and that it would end up like this. But then again, I wouldn’t have had the great and unforgettable experiences I shared with him. It was perfect, the chemistry was so beautiful, we were very happy, I felt his love and I was in love with him. Then life happened and things changed. When that happens, it is very difficult to let go of the past because it was so amazing.

When bad things happen in life, we learn fro them and try not to repeat the same mistakes. If a person does the same thing over and over and over again, its no longer a mistake but a choice. The love and respect is no longer there. The sad thing then becomes me, holding on and hoping things will get better and he will love and respect me again. It is sad that I hope that we will grow, that we will learn, make it work and make “it” much bigger than it was. But that is my mistake.

If I still hold on and refuse to see what is blatantly shown to me, when am I going to? If I carry on being in denial and dream of us working out, when will I stop hurting? When will I fall in love again? When will I be in a happy? When will I see that he doesn’t want me, he doesn’t love me and doesn’t respect me?  When will I see it and move on?

What motivates me?

I am motivated my different things everyday. I am motivated by my super woman who is my mother, my daughter who gives me the reason to want to wake up each day, my daily struggles that will not let defeat me, money, the people I am surrounded with, the actions of people that make me want to do things for them or give them love, life in general and all the things that I resonate with. Depending on the stage of my life, circumstance or the goal I am working towards, the one motivation over powers the other.

When I think of the word motivation, it makes me think of the sacrifices I am willing to make for what ever it is that I want. What I am willing to do and how far I’m willing to go to reach my goal.

Dear Diary – 12 September 2012

 I had my day planned out from 14:00 until tonight. I was supposed to get to res and do my individual PR assignment. Then do the group research assignment when my group members get here. Instead I got go res and started doing my laundry. While waiting for that to get done, I decided to cook. Ok so now my clothes are in the washing machine and the food in on the stove. I shouldn’t even think of going to my friends’ room or else I won’t get anything done. It will be so hard for me to leave because of “umgosi”. Let me watch a series that I can keep pausing when ever I need to check up on my laundry and food, rather than do the assignment and lose my plot when I move away from my laptop. Gosh, I am the master of procrastination! But then again, I do work better when I’m under pressure. I will do my work!!

Dear Diary – 12 September 2012

I am a mother, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, aunt, student, colleague and a fucked up love life, if I can call it that. When I think of my family I smile and try not to let the family politics get to me. Just thinking of my daughter sure makes my heart smile and that shows on my face. Where do I even start with school? Flip, those lectures are just out to kill us. I guess one of the main reasons I stick it out is because I love and enjoy our choice of study (Public Relations Management). Just thinking of the load of work I need to do make me want to scream, but that doesn’t change that the assignments still need to be done.

I won’t even start with the non-existent love life or whatever it’s called. Thinking about it doesn’t make me happy at all. I wish it wasn’t even a factor in my life. It can be a dreadful thing to deal with at times.

Dear Diary - 12 September 2012

It sucks having to wake up after only two or three hours of sleep because of insomnia. It’s so hard for me to even articulate how I am feeling right now. My heart is beating like something bad is going to happen. Or maybe it’s because of the lack of sleep. I have a big problem of thinking a lot when it’s time for me to sleep. I’ve tried counting sheep, drinking warm milk, watching something to make me fall asleep. I’ve tried to imagine myself in a white room, even writing and none of them helped.

I love being productive, I think only because it keeps me away from personal thoughts. I’m sure my thoughts keep me up all night because I choose to ignore them during the day. My coffee prevents me from being a zombie during the day, maybe that is why I my days can’t start until I get my morning dose of caffeineJ

Dear Diary - 12 September 2012

So I’m supposed to have 100 blog posts by the end of October. Writing a “diary” everyday seems like the best and the fastest way for me to achieve that. I’m hoping that writing this diary will help me get a few things out of my chest, which I would rather not talk about to anyone. The last thing I need is a verbal response. This will be my new platform to vent. I don’t understand why we need to have 100 blog posts. Blogging is meant to be fun.

 

 

When you are told when to blog and what to blog about, for me, it defeats the purpose. I guess I don’t have a choice but to do what I have been told because my PR degree depends on it. The only posts I enjoy writing are the ones I write from my heart. Not the 46 topics we were given to write about.

I still don’t believe

Picked up early from school and straight into a meeting with daddy dearest, which is never a good thing. Nervous, scared and worried all mixed into one emotion. My mother is nowhere to be found, very odd considering she’s a stay at home mom.

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So my dad sits my brother and I down and says that my mother is in Cape Town, she received some bad news. The obvious thought is death but the death of her father, how wrong I was. He continues on to explain that my beloved aunt, my mother’s younger sister had been involved in an accident and she and her mother-in-law had passed away immediately. My heart sank. I immediately wanted to be in Cpt with my family. My head didn’t allow me to believe it till I had been to her house, ‘seeing is believing’ was my mantra for the entire week until her funeral. In fact come to think of it, I still don’t.

Bad Habits

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I’ve heard many theories on how to break them but frankly none of them have worked. As much as taking someone’s advice is usually the noble thing to do, in instances such as these it’s by far the worst thing I could do to myself.

They say one never really gets over an addiction; they merely replace it with another less destructive one. What does one do when you get told you’re a bad habit? Try to change that? Can you tell if you are someone’s bad habit or you’ve gotten so used to a way of living that it has now become the common practice in all or one of your relationships? I think it’s that 4 letter L-word which distorted things in such a way that we find it hard to be ‘normal’ if there is such a thing. The irony of it all though is that the bad habits have the ability to make us feel so good, now isn’t that something. Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humour if u ask me

Reading, the lack thereof

One thing I want to do when I’m older is to try bringing about a new of breed of people. People who ask questions and don’t just do for the sake of doing. In my various encounters with some peers, a lot of them say they don’t just do things because it’s cool or it’s the latest thing but only to find that they actually are. I find it’s sad that in many cases believe that ignorance is bliss, sometimes it is but for the most it isn’t. The best/worst most annoying quote which really gets under my skin is the one which states; the best way to hide something from a black person is to put it in a book.

Sadly there’s an element of truth to this statement, black people really don’t like reading. I’ve tried to get people I hang out with to start picking up a book or newspaper so that they can learn a little more but it seems like I talk to stone walls. It’s not easy breaking habits and, talking from experience, reading wasn’t something that was instilled in me growing up. There’s a host of knowledge at our disposal and society has made it alright to not want to know or not to ask questions. A change is needed. ASAP

There but never really there

Funny how I grew up, from the outside things seem like a happy household. The quintessential family made up of the husband and wife with two obedient and loving sons. The early stages were great, dad was present during those stages doing most of the things a dad should. Fast forward a few years and the story makes a complete 180^o turn. A person believes that as long as he’s paying the bills and your school fees that he’s being a dad and a father.

I was pretty young when he told me that he’s doing those therefore he’s being a father and I remember I was so furious because at my tender age I could tell the difference between a father and a dad. How could he not be able to distinguish between the two? It was uncanny. Anyway, I’m grown up now I can attest to the stereotype of a black man wanting recognition for things he’s supposed to do. Sad actually, no person in the world or asks to be brought into this world…we just find ourselves here at the discretion of our parents.

He thinks he’s been taken advantage of

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He really bugs me. Sometimes I ask myself why I stay in this house, expose myself to his over controlling nature. Then it hits me, lack of an income is crippling my movements and some of my progression. Granted, I absolutely hate seeing a man who was 100% able bodied being reduced to being 50% able bodied. It’s almost reduced me to tears in some instances simply because I hate seeing a person in distress or not being to fully function as a “normal” person would.

On the flip side of that… how does a person in need bite the hand that feeds him, repeatedly. It makes no sense to me, probably because I’m not in his situation but we can’t say that indefinitely now can we. You try to help a person and next you’re being told you taking advantage of the situation? I’m baffled to say the least. Maybe someday, when things are on the right track again I’ll get more insight from his perspective because right now it’s one sided. Highly subjective as much as I try to convince myself I’m being objective…only time will tell.

Another day, another opportunity

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Trying to make it in this world is proving very difficult. I don’t think anyone can actually quite prepare for the daily battles that we go through in order to be successful. In this short time that I have been trying to do me, I find myself learning more lessons than those I learnt in school or varsity. To be 100% honest, I can see why a person would chose to throw in the towel rather than to fight. Having to constantly prove yourself and sell your talents and achievements and skills every day is very off-putting. But then again this depends on who you… are your character.

That being said, every day brings about new challenges; new fights/battles to be won and lost because let’s face it, we don’t win every battle we fight as much as we might want to. Waking up in the morning gives you an opportunity to fight again, to re-strategize a game plan to help you conquer your enemies in this cruel world. There’s little point in dwelling on the previous day’s events besides taking only the valuable life lessons which you can never ever forget.

Every morning you wake up, it’s your opportunity to shine and showcase the beautiful, intelligent being that is you.

Loving the allure

Last night a friend of mine came to town, hadn’t seen him in ages so this was a wonderful surprise. In our random conversations about the city I told him vividly that the city can get addictive, once you experience the sweet life you going to want to keep coming back.

So last night I take him out, telling myself I want to give him an experience worth coming back for. A few drinks later he concedes saying that he’s moving here permanently, he has too keep getting his fix of this ‘sweet life’ he constantly hears about. All I told him, before we entered the party was to keep his mouth from dropping. Such behaviours immediately scream out “tourist” which, most times, isn’t that great of a thing.

On the drive home, he couldn’t stop talking about how he needs to move here. The aura and the allure have fully captured him. This obviously made me smile he’s only seen one nights pleasure so imagine the possibilities. A job well done.

Breathing but no living

 

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Some people seem to be under the impression that a person is alive when they’re breathing. There’s part truth top this fact but I believe otherwise. For some time now I’ve been breathing but not living, I’ve been there physically but that’s about where it starts and ends.

 
Living with my parents, I find myself seeking refuge in the corners of my bedroom or in front of my computer keeping myself busy with stupid things. I guess all of this is in an effort to avoid the elephant in the room but it’s one of those elephants that, no matter how much you try to deal with it, it just keeps growing. Maybe it’s me? Maybe it’s the “elephant”?  Who knows really, I most certainly don’t but I do know that someday it’ll be too little too late. For now, I’ll continue to seek refuge in front of my computer trying to figure out a way of not only breathing, but living too.

Every day is a good day

Andiswa Dlokolo

Every day is different

Every day is yesterday’s future

Every day I live

Every day I’m grateful

Every day reflect on yesterday

Every day I look forward to something new

Every day I have different expectations of what it could be

Every day I learn something new

Every day I look forward to tomorrow

Every day has its own challenges

Every day I love

Every day I remember

Every day I look for new ways to improve

Every day I believe

…… and all these make my everyday a GOOD DAYJ

Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses



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Often it is seen that when people have a certain amount of power they don’t always use it in the most positive way. Take the police for instance.

They have the power and the authority to protect the public and confiscate illegal substances from people who are committing a crime.

But you will find that some of them use that power to their own advantage, buy selling the confiscated items instead of reporting and destroying them. Some even go as far as to make false arrests in order to get bribes.

If their greatest strength is not maintained and used in a positive way it becomes their greatest weakness and affects the society.

Try a cliché

We know that clichés are simply “unoriginal ideas” but if you dismiss things immediately if they sound like a cliché, you might be missing some great possibilities in life.



s8wministries.org



People always say you need to be original, innovative and always think out the box. But in some situations that effort is not required. There students at tech who work and study, but still have families and children to take care of. They took the decision to go and study with their plates filled with responsibilities as it is, but they are studying for a better future for themselves and their families. There are times where these students feel that all this is too much but they know that it is for the best. These students are dedicated; they sacrifice and are patient because they know that “Hard work pays off in the end”.



Feelings follow behaviour

http://www.zazzle.com/



The words 'feelings' and 'behaviour' follow one another. It is just a matter of which one will follow the other one first. Both these words play a major role in life. Feelings and behaviour can tell us more about people than words.

Actions talk, and through actions we see feelings and the way we act, is the way we behave. We can not always control our feelings, but I believe we can control our behaviour. It is not bad to let your feelings follow behaviour, but we must make sure we are always in control of our actions. By changing the way you think, you can change the way you act.

Constructive criticism

“Constructive criticism is criticism kindly meant that has a goal of improving some area of another’s person’s life or work.”

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It took me a while to understand that “Criticism” doesn’t have to be a bad word. For example, for Research Methodology we are working on a thesis that will take the whole year to complete. While working on this thesis, we need to constantly consult with the lecturer for guidance and “criticism”. We submit sections at the end of each term and the lecturer then gives us feedback. She gives valuable insight into how we can improve the thesis for the next sections of the thesis. After the lecturer weighs the importance or usefulness of the feedback, we are able to rewrite or revise the thesis to make it better for the final presentation at the end of the year.

Being given constructive criticism helps me to see things in a different light, or to notice something that I hadn't thought about before. Receiving constructive criticism makes me want to learn more, it motivates me and makes me want to improve on what I’m being criticized on.

So whenever I am asked to give feedback on something, I try very hard to be as constructive as possible and this also forces me to think about what it is I'm going to be giving feedback on.

Rejection is always a possibility

Imagine if author J.K. Rowling hadn't kept trying with publisher after publisher when Harry Potter was rejected. We would all have missed out on a great adventure. Life is about taking risks and having to ask at times. And when we do, rejection is always a possibility.

               

truehues.wordpress.com

Everyday situations can lead to feelings of rejection. Feeling rejected is the opposite of feeling accepted. But being rejected (and we all will be at times) doesn't mean someone isn't liked, valued, or important. It just means that one time, in one situation, with one person, things didn't work out. Believe me I have had to learn this the hard way.

Rejection hurts. But it's impossible to avoid it altogether. In fact, you don't want to. People who become too afraid of rejection might hold back from going after something they want. You avoid rejection, but you are also 100% guaranteed to miss out on what you want but won't attempt for.

So my advice is, learn from rejection. When you are afraid to ask, just picture the benefits. Don’t be afraid of rejection because the worst thing that can happen is “NO”.

It is better to practice a little than to talk a lot




In most cases “Talk is cheap” and I agree. Many who talk do it only for the attention and no action is ever seen. In today’s day and age people are so comfortable in doing things to please other people. Take virgins for instance, they talk a hell of a lot and have way too many opinions and “facts” about sex like they know what they are talking about. All talk and no action. And that is ok!!

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Virgins won’t lose their quality of life because they don’t walk the talk. They can’t be missing anything because they cannot miss what they have never had. So in this case I say “a thousand words are worth much more than one action”. It’s ok to talk a lot and practice a little.



Wedding cake in the middle of the road



dailymail.co.uk



Why and how on earth would a wedding cake find itself in the middle of the road? I know, maybe because it is running away from the many people who are going to eat it after the wedding ceremony. A wedding cake has feelings too you know. All that effort put into making it look so tall and pretty. To end up being sliced up and eaten faster than the time was used to make it.  

Should employers be asking job applicants for social network passwords?



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In my opinion, they shouldn't. Asking for an applicant’s username and password is going too far.  If it’s private, no one has the right to intrude. There should be a line between personal and private and this would seem to violate it.

Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities reads, “You will not share your password, let anyone else access your account, or do anything … that might jeopardize the security of your account.” So to me this means employers may be violating the Facebook terms of use. 

What can you do if an employer asks for your login information? It's a tough decision, because not complying could cost you a job offer.  Also you would have to consider whether you would want to work for a company that didn't respect your privacy.  And would you want to have to worry about everything you post on Facebook and twitter during your term with that company?

Limiting social network checks to the applicant’s LinkedIn site (employer joining the network of the employee) makes more sense to me because that is a professional site, less likely to display information inappropriate to consider when hiring.  

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself

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The worst lies are the ones we subconsciously tell ourselves.  They’ve been ingrained in our minds by bad external influences and negative thinking. It is a fact we all care about what people think of us. Mostly because whatever we decide to become in life, we are guided or misled by the groups we are to belong to, with requirements that have to be met in order to fit and be accepted in those groups.

If we are not happy with where we are in life, it’s better to change the situation before it becomes uncontrollable. Because what happens is that you spend a lot of time and effort trying to convince yourself that you are happy with your current situation, and yet you are sad and miserable when you are alone.

The sound of one hand clapping



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The sound of one hand clapping is silence. The silence refers to the essence of being which is nothingness. The concept of clapping implies that a sound is being produced by two surfaces coming into contact, even if only one of them is actually moving. We don't have to wait for both sides of a relationship to participate before bringing about beneficial change. Everything in life is in a relationship to everything else.  

As a being on earth u can’t survive alone without resources to help you survive and live. You are one clapping hand which is silent, so to make a noise you need to connect with something in order to have an effect of any kind.  

My graduation experience



Andiswa Dlokolos Graduation



To me graduation is supposed to be about getting your qualification and hitting the road. But that is not the case. There is a lot that goes into you getting that certificate. It is called the Graduation Ceremony.

For some reason students who are waiting to graduate make a big deal of this ceremony. I didn’t understand why and so I didn’t. I didn’t see the point of shopping for a new dress and shoes and so I didn’t. I didn’t understand the big hype about it at all.

The morning of the graduation ceremony I wondered why I was not feeling excited like the rest of the people I was to graduate with. The Ceremony itself was way too boring for me. I felt like I was sitting at a funeral. Kept dozing off when the guest speaker was speaking.  Not to mention when students were being called to get their qualifications.

I only started feeling something when it was my turn to and waiting to go on stage. I felt good because I was finally going to get the qualification I was working for.

Waking up extra early and sitting through that dreadful and boring ceremony was all worth it after all.

Not all who wander are lost.

RedBubble.com

If not all who wander are lost then what are they? If you don’t know what you want or where you are going in life, are you not lost? To wander is defined as to move about without a definite destination or purpose. To me this is simple. If you don’t have a purpose or you still on the journey of trying to find yourself, then you are lost. If you haven't found “IT” yet, you are lost. This doesn’t mean you should stop looking because when you do find “IT’’ you will know.

The secret is in the portions



Andiswa Dlokolo



Many people suffer from being over weight and bloated. With the hectic daily routine, it is difficult to maintain a healthy diet. That includes both eating right and exercising. I am one of the people that have had this problem. I used to eat one big meal a day and sometimes ate the “requires” 3 meals a day. Because of this bad habit I was always bloated, constipated and gained a lot of weight. To top it all, I stopped going to the gym.



Andiswa Dlokolo

There are hundreds of ways on how to lose weight and get into shape “without exercising”. I decided change my bad eating habits. Instead of eating one big portion of food a day, I decided to break down my meals into smaller portions. I started eating 6 small portions and drink at least 2liters of water a day, but not scratching anything out of my food list. I still ate hat I wanted.



After following this habit of eating, I noticed that I started becoming more regular and lost the weight I had gained. I didn’t go back to the gym but I started jogging now and again.

The secret is to eat the right portions then you can eat anything.

Siblings becoming enemies

I always hear my mom telling my brother and me how much she hates it when we argue. We always tell her to stay out of it, because it is between us and has nothing to do with her. Only after she explained to us, did we then understand why she hates it when we argue. She said the way my brother and I act and treat each other scars her, because it shows her that, this is how we would act should anything happen to her. The worse thing for her is watching her children become enemies and turn their backs on each other.

Andiswa Dlokolo

How do you step from the top of a 100-foot pole?

One of the hardest things in to do is having to make a decision that could change your life, either in a good or bad way.  Regardless of what the outcome of the decision is, it is better to live with a bad choice made on good faith, than to live with “what if” for the rest of your life. Not to say don’t calculate your risks, because calculated risks guarantee less disappointment. You will never know what you are capable of if you never take a risk.

michelleburger.wordpress.com

 “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”  Andre Gide

Why do straight guys dislike gay guys?

concreteloop.com

Inspired by a conversations with friends, i’ve always wondered why some straight guys dislike gay guys. They are borne gay and there is nothing they can do about it. The majority, if not all gays that I know and have met, are very happy with their gender. The only place where choice seems to come into play is when they decide how they will acknowledge their identity. Choosing if and how to 'come out' and choosing who to tell. I can only imagine how painful this must be, hiding who you are because you are afraid of being judged, abused rejected.

Of course there are all sorts of visceral reactions that straights have toward gays, the most obvious being the thought or heaven forbid the mental image of two guys doing it. But I think ignorance has a lot to do with it. The stereotypes that gay men will try to hit on or feel up every guy they come into contact with. And of course there are those who feel that their masculinity would be threatened and those who thinks it’s gross because they personally don't happen to like gay men.

concreteloop.com

"Why do straight guys have such disgust for gays?" Why should they, after all, it’s less competition.

It doesn’t even make sense to me why some straight guys get angry when a gay guy hits on them. I mean if someone does hit on you, male or female, that you aren't sexually attracted to you should just give that person a polite, "no, thank you" and move on.